A Time to Ask for Forgiveness

I’m sorry. I will try to do better. - Rabbi Joel N. Abraham (and others)

Let me start off by saying that other than not apologizing at all, apologizing through a Temple bulletin column is probably about as weak an apology as you can offer. Even in a sermon, there is at least some measure of eye contact – sadly lacking in the printed page which you are now (hopefully) reading. I’m sorry for that, too.

However, if I have not yet had a chance to speak to you in person, or over the phone, or I have erred or failed to do what I should as your Rabbi, please take this apology as the beginning of t’shuvah – the Jewish process of repentance.

T’shuvah may be one of the most underrated of Jewish innovations. Consider for a moment – other religious systems consider errors (whether classified as “sins” or otherwise) as either permanent or as removable through the intervention of an outside source. Again, once you do something wrong it is either held against you forever; or some other Divine entity can absolve you of that sin, without you even having to speak to the person that you may have offended. Not in Judaism – the Mishnah tells us that the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) atones for sins between the human being and God, but for sins between one human being and another, the Day of Atonement does not atone, until that person has made peace with the other. T’shuvah may not be as easy on the individual. (After all, having to figure out whom you may have wronged, building up the courage and humility to speak to that person, and having the strength to make that wrong right, can take great deal of effort.) However, there is no better model for a healthy community with strong interpersonal relationships than a society in which its members can admit their errors and heal hurtful ruptures. Perversely, a much better future can be created by those who have made the effort to fix the errors of the past than by those who would close the door on previous actions, as if there was no possible redress.

A further benefit of t’shuvah is that, although it is available and encouraged all year, there is a special calendrical moment that reminds us to engage in that process. As individuals in a community, we prepare separately and together to put our best foot forward in the new year, by healing our past. The time is now – as the Hebrew month of Elul leads into Tishri – to review our (mis)deeds, to take responsibility for our actions, and to seek forgiveness from those whom we have wronged.

I take this precious gift very seriously, and I implore you – if there is anything that I have done in the past year to offend, or have not done that may have insulted or slighted, please let me know – that I may seek t’shuvah from you and that both of us may go into the sweet new year together.

L’shanah tovah u’mtukah,

Rabbi Joel N. Abraham