Al tifrosh min hatzibur - אל תפרוש מין הצבור
[Hillel would say] Do not separate yourself from the community. Pirkei Avot 2:4
How wonderful it was, and how nice, to gather together this past month to celebrate the ten years that Cantor Sharlein has spent as a member of our community. Other than Rosh haShanah, it was the largest gathering of the congregation that we have had in over three years (and, it was pointed out to me, though there were more people for Rosh haShanah services, there were more cars in the lot for the Cantor’s celebration.). How meaningful it was to bring back Cantor Susan Caro (who served as student Cantor here in the 90’s, when she was known as Susan Dropkin) who also helped Cantor Sharlein on her path that ended up with us.
At the service, I told the story of when Cantor Sharlein first came to the Temple as a student Cantor. In those days, congregations would send their detailed applications in to HUC and students would choose with whom they wanted to interview. Cantor Sharlein did not want to interview with us, although we had seen her resume and thought she would be a great fit. Our spies told us that she was afraid that if she met with us, she might fall in love with the congregation and end up having to commute all the way from Brooklyn to New Jersey and back - 2 or 3 times a week. I was sent to chase her down and persuade her to interview. She did, and she was attracted to our haimische congregation; and was our student Cantor for three years, before she moved on to a full-time job outside of Detroit. Four years later, when the Temple decided that we needed to move from a student to a limited service (part-time) cantor, I ran into Cantor Sharlein and her very cute baby daughter at the URJ Biennial in DC. I asked her if she had any colleagues who might want a part-time gig in New Jersey, and she said that she might want to come back.
Al tifrosh min hatzibur - Do not separate yourself from the community.
Cantor Sharlein came to us for the community that we offered, and she came back (or so she said in front of the whole congregation in December) because this was the community she wanted to be a part of, and where she wanted to raise her children. Not only did we get a chance to celebrate that decision, but we’ll have an opportunity to celebrate that child, as she marks becoming a Bat Mitzvah, this May.
A quick search of my Temple Topics articles and sermons might show that this quote - al tifrosh min hatzibur is one that I return to again and again. What does it mean to be a part of a community, and what does distance matter? When we were locked in our homes for COVID, we shared presence through Zoom - a medium through which many who are unable to be at the Temple as often as they like have adopted as a way to be present as much as they can. Those of us who are traveling, and eating out, and seeing friends, have not been as present. Recently, many old Temple friends gathered for a difficult purpose - comforting the Szeto family at Garrett’s passing. Many of those present remarked that they had not seen each other in quite a while. At the dinner after the cantor’s service, I went from table to table to see members of our congregation that I had not seen in a few years, sitting together, chatting, laughing and catching up. Sometimes, we forget what it is we were missing, and, just like our cantor, we need an invitation to return.
Let this serve as your invitation - come back to your Temple community. Come to a service. Come to a class. Come to a bet mitzvah service. Come to a shabbat dinner. Dust off the Dutch oven and make a chili for the cook-off. You’ll see old friends and remember how you made new friends when you first joined us. If there are people that you want to see - parents of your children’s classmates, people that you served on a committee with, Temple members you sang with in the choir, or built a house with on Mitzvah Day - they probably want to see you as well. Find them again at the place you first found them - the building may be different, and some of the faces may have changed, but the community is the same. Waiting for someone to revive the group that used to try different restaurants? Pick a restaurant, call the Temple, and set up a date for us to meet. Looking for people to read a book with? Play Mah Jongg? Take the step to reach out to our current leadership and let them help you plan that event.
Al tifrosh min hatzibur - do not separate yourself from the community, for too long. Even though I am away right now on a two month sabbatical, I look forward to coming back to my Temple family. You can come back, too. We’d love to see you.
Rabbi Abraham
