Strangers are only members you haven't met yet

K’ezrach mikem yih’yeh lachem hageir hagar itchem v’ahavta lo kamocha ki geirim ha’yitem b’eretz mitzrayim. Ani Adonai Eloheicheim
As the native born shall they be to you – the stranger who lives with you. And you shall love them as yourself, because you were strangers in the land of Egypt. I am Adonai, your God. Leviticus 19:34

The time has come for us, as a congregation, to live up to the high ideals that we have set for ourselves. We pride ourselves on being a haimische congregation – a community where people feel welcome, where individuals are connected to each other more than through the coincidence that they may have children of the same age. In a very important way, we have fulfilled this goal. We have over 30 families who have chosen to join the congregation this year because of who we are and because they want to be a member of this community. That so many of you have spoken to your friends, or even spoken about the Temple so that word has gone around in the community, is a testament to how we feel about the congregation and a credit to each one of us.

However, bringing people in the door is really on the first step. To be a truly haimische congregation, we continue to be welcoming – to bring new members on a journey so that a year from now, they feel as much long-time members as you may now. As Jews, this idea should be second nature to us – as it has been repeated over and over in our most basic text – the Torah. The quote above, from the Holiness Code which we read on the afternoon of Yom Kippur, is a good summation. Sometimes, though, we think of the stranger as someone who will always be different, and never one of us. Judaism tells us that we must not only treat the one who is new to our community the same as everyone else, but to make them feel as if they have always been a part – to love them as yourself.

The good news is that we are off to a great start. Already in September, we had several wonderful social (and fundraising) events that have included new and old members:
• Thank you to our fundraising committee – led by Marjorie Wachtel and Nan Fechtner –
o For the great “Scoop for Sholom”, our ice cream fundraiser which people refused to leave, hanging out together on a warm afternoon in Fanwood.
o For the wine-tasting – a record attendance was also marked by the fact that new families were spread out among all the different tables and, as usual, the socializing drowned out the wine.
• Thank you to the Sisterhood –
o For giving new members to the Temple free membership
o For the welcoming brunch which had so many enthusiastic new participants
• Thank you to the Brotherhood –
o For reaching out with such great e-mail to the new members
o For the vodka tasting, Sukkah building, etc., etc.
• Thank you to the Wolff family – Daniel and Ellen
o For hosting a get-together in their home for all the members with young children

And that is not all – our Membership Committee – led by Carolyn Smaka and Seth Weingarten met last month not only to talk about membership recruitment, but retention – how they can help committees bring in new members, the Trustees stay in touch, and generally to make our new members from strangers into ourselves.

Finally, what can each of us do? The first thing is to get over the potential embarrassment of introducing yourself to someone you may have met before. Then, at any Temple gathering – go up and say hello to people whose name you don’t remember. If you are a committee chair or member, drag someone else (especially a newer member) to a meeting, an event, or even to help set up. Sit next to someone different at services or at a dinner or Temple event.

Do the work it takes to make the stranger feel like the native – love your neighbor as yourself.

Rabbi Abraham