Why I Take Prayer Seriously – Rabbi’s Column – October 2013
The one who rises from prayer a better person, their prayer has been answered. Reform Prayerbook
So, nu, Rabbi, I know that you must spend a lot of time praying, but it doesn’t work for me, so why should I bother?
Prayer Can’t Hurt - I suppose it is an easy enough statement to say that no one has ever been harmed by prayer. I was challenged on this fact, however, when I began a discussion at the first t’fillah (prayer service) in our Hebrew School this year. One of the students said that if we prayed for something bad to happen to someone else, and our prayer was answered, that would be harm. The question brings up the idea of favoritism in prayer. Does God really prefer one sports team over another, so that locker room prayer has an outcome on the score? Or does God just keep a prayer meter running and, regardless of preference, whichever side prays the most, wins? A good answer is that we might keep our prayers to wishes that we can perform to our best ability, or that the team plays well together, or that we avoid injury. Even those who believe in a personal God, who intervenes in daily events, can be uncomfortable with the idea that God’s actions are restricted by or predicated on the correct prayer being said in the correct way. We are always comfortable if God would answer our prayers, but we often ignore the consequences to others, if our desires are fulfilled, or what happens to us, if someone else prays for something we thought we already had.
However, saying that prayer is not a bad thing is a rather tepid endorsement, and not the impetus for someone to immediately begin a prayerful practice.
Prayer Is Not Just about Talking to God – In Judaism, we do not do the best job of explaining some basic facts that differentiate prayer and the (perhaps) familiar prayer service. There is a tradition of personal prayer in Judaism – with countless examples in our literature, but we do not teach it. Instead, we teach communal prayer, which is important, but is not the only type of prayer. Personal prayers can be said at any time, by any person, in virtually any format – not necessarily even in words. Communal prayers need to be said with others, and have a particular structure, wording, and timing. The fact that we have both personal and communal prayer in Judaism teaches us that there is a reason for both. Judaism considers it important to require the community to come together on a regular basis, not necessarily because it makes the prayer more efficacious, but because face to face contact is an important part of community. There are vital parts of communal worship that let us know whether someone is in mourning, celebrating, or ill. Then, because we are together, we can reach out and be there for each other.
Prayer Can Do Some Good - the word for prayer in Hebrew is hitpalel, a reflexive verb. Good prayer is self-reflective. Even if we are only asking for something we need, then we need to ask ourselves what we are missing. Truly good prayer is an opportunity for us to tune out all the static in our lives and focus inward on where we are doing well, where we are not, and where we need help. The answer to a prayer may be a clearer focus on what we need to do next. It may be the strength or the insight to act rather than be acted upon. It may be the silence that allows us to hear the cry of a person near to us.
Prayer Is Necessary to a Balanced Life - At the High HolyDays, we spoke about punctuation in our lives - that pausing or stopping is necessary for us to appreciate what we have, rather than let it all flow by, unremarked. What we in Judaism call prayer - is a time-out, a pause, a moment for meditation or appreciation. How can we be grateful, if we do not take time to realize what we have? How can we receive help, if we have not taken a moment to ask ourselves what we need?
Prayer Is Not Easy - More on that next month.
