Rabbi’s Column - July/August 2023 - It’s Because of the People...
There is an enlarged poster-sized photograph hanging on the wall of the first floor common room at URJ Eisner Camp’s Emily and Kivie Kaplan Conference Center, where the faculty live in the summer, which says, “Eisner, it’s because of the people who come here.” To the great amusement of the faculty who hang out in that room, the picture is of Eisner’s lake and several buildings, but there are no people in it.
Over the past few months, I have spoken with a few families who have chosen to let their Temple membership lapse. The reasons which they have shared with me are both diverse and similar. One family said that they had hoped to find more of a community, but, perhaps because of COVID, they had not. Another shared that they had been involved when their children were involved, but now they were less attached. Another moved to another congregation because that was where their younger child had more friends.
A number of years ago, we convened a group to figure out how to increase Shabbat service attendance. To our surprise, most congregants appreciated the structure and content of our Friday night worship - that was not what was keeping them away. Rather, the biggest draw for people to come to services was not the service itself, but rather, knowing who else was going to be there.
The last service in June, we celebrated the centenary of Natalie Darwin - a long-time and dedicated member of the Temple, as well as an honorary member of our Board of Trustees. One of the reasons that Natalie is an Honorary Trustee is that she shows up: she showed up to Board meetings, but she also has made a practice of coming to whatever Temple event may be on the calendar. What made that so special was that Natalie made friends across all age groups and generations. Although COVID has made showing up in person more difficult, when there is a Temple event that is on-line, Natalie will log on at least an hour in advance to make sure she is connected in time.
We have a beautiful Temple building, but that is not our congregation. What makes Temple Sholom special is the people. Unfortunately, that is a secret best known by the Temple staff and leadership, and those few who make the effort to attend so many Temple events. COVID made us reprioritize what was important, and where we made an effort. Many of us focussed on our families and our health, often outdoor activities. Once the doors were opened, we wanted to travel to all the places that we missed. Below the radar was how much we missed being present at the Temple - seeing people that we already knew, meeting those we did not, and getting to know those who were just acquaintances.
Our Temple leadership is working hard to bring back those opportunities to build up our congreagation - but they need help. Help in the organizing of any Temple events - large or small - is, of course, always welcome. Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is just show up - not only put a Temple event on your calendar, but make the effort, when the time comes, to get off the couch, get in the car, and come to the Temple. All I can say is that you probably won’t regret it and, if you do, tell us so we can make it better next time. We are all trying.
Being a part of a strong and caring community not only takes the effort of its members, but also returns more than it requires. Ask any of our members who have been ill and had meals made for them by fellow congregants; those who have lost someone close to them, and been comforted knowing that they are remembered not only in our sanctuary, but in the presence of those at shivah. The High HolyDays are coming up. They are not only a time for us to think back on our past, and imagine our future, but they are also the biggest reunion of the Temple year - a chance to check in with old friends and acquaintances, to see how children have grown, to share news with those who truly care. Rosh haShanah begins at sundown on Friday, September 15th.
I hope to see you there.
