Shomrei shabbat v’korei oneg
Those who keep Shabbat and call it a delight Yism’chu Shabbat liturgy
While on Sabbatical last winter, I had an epiphany about communal worship. We as a congregation had always talked about how communal worship - our mode of prayer together on Shabbat and holidays - was about the community. The assumption that followed was that communal worship was about compromise. Since we cannot meet everyone’s need in a service at every moment, we would strive to create a service that had the most meaning for the most people. For example, someone who wanted a quiet service, perhaps because they were observing a yahrzeit, would have to sometimes endure the more raucous parts of the service intended for those present more for oneg shabbat - the joyous celebration of Shabbat. The unspoken rule was that in order to get the benefit of communal worship (as opposed to private prayer) one must give up something to the good of the community.
While this rule may be true, I realized that there was a corollary as well. Participating in communal worship also gives something, as well as takes. The very fact that everyone is engaged in the same process, because they are coming from different places, with different needs, and in different moods, lends power to the experience. While we realized the strength and benefits of communal prayer, there was a piece that needed to be brought forward - the building of community. This benefit of feeling the power of a community at prayer works best when one feels a part of the community. How then do we build community at each service?
For some it is easy. In previous studies, we have found that the single most influential factor in people attending worship services is whether or not they feel they will know the people who will be there. Less important is the music, the words, or, dare I say it, the sermon. SMH (as they say on the internet). Of course, the most important draw to communal worship is the sense of community. Again, how do we build that into the service?
Having engaged in many activities with organizations such as the Reform Movement’s Just Congregations, I have learned that the first step of community-based organizing is establishing the community. The way this is done is by sharing. As human beings, we feel closer to others when we learn about them, see things we may have in common, find a way to sympathize, or share something ourselves. All such organizational meetings begin with people sharing a personal story. Ask one of our recent Board members, who spent a year talking about why they personally became a part of the Temple, and they will tell you how close they felt to those people who shared, or with whom they shared.
We already have two methods to build community this way in our worship service. The first is ancient - the naming of those whose anniversary of death occurs in that week, known as yahrzeit. The second is more recently adopted in the Reform Movement - the Mi Shebeirach for those who are ill. In both cases, we hear the names of friends or relatives, or friends and relatives of our friends, and we share the hope for healing or the comfort in sorrow.
Since last January, we have made two changes in the service that should we should have publicized before, but (as I still prepare for Yom Kippur) I apologize for not bringing it up in this space sooner.
- Sharing Memory - Now, when we read the names of shloshim (those who have died in the past month) or yahrzeit, we ask those who have come to worship and remember someone in particular to rise and share just a word or two, or a sentence about that person. Just as we share stories at shivah services, this moment of sharing brings that person into the sanctuary, even if just as a memory. The person who spoke can remain standing, until we all join them in saying the Mourners’ Kaddish. No one is forced to share. If there is a name on the list of someone without someone who remembers them present, and they were active in the Temple when I had a chance to know them, I will often share a word about that person myself.
- Bringing Light into Shabbat - We already bring forward moments of sadness - when we remember those who have died, or those who are ill. It seemed that we needed to also bring in moments of joy to share. Now, when the congregation is not so large as to make it unwieldy, we have a new ritual after we light the Shabbat lights at the beginning of the service. Each person or family is invited to share a moment that brought them light during the week, and they want to bring into Shabbat with them. Just a word or two, or a sentence, is enough to share that moment and help build the congregation at the beginning of the services. Our hope is that Shabbat services will become a place where congregants come to share their joys as well.
Both of these practices make the service a little longer, Again, no one is forced to participate, but I have seen the smiles on the faces of those who have shared, as well as those who reflect that feeling in their own faces. Sometimes a comment leads to a conversation at the oneg. More often, the moment is one small brick in building the community for that Shabbat.
So, come back to Shabbat worship. Join the community that we create each week. Without you, things are different. With you, we strengthen ourselves, lift ourselves up, and feel what communal worship is all about - community. What is the difference between praying alone and in community? Having others around to support and magnify our experience together. Let us celebrate our community as we celebrate Shabbat.
Rabbi Abraham
