What is the B'nei Mitzvah Revolution? - December 2012

Rabbi’s Column - December 2012

Re-thinking b’nai mitzvah so synagogues and their members can focus on what is most important about Jewish living and learning. - B’nai Mitzvah Revolution website

Temple Sholom, along with 13 other congregations, has been chosen to be part of a pilot cohort of the Union for Reform Judaism’s Campaign for Youth Engagement’s B’nai Mitzvah Revolution.  You may have seen publicity in the local Jewish papers, or from the URJ about this project, and I’d like to take this opportunity to explain what the project is, and what it means for our congregation.

Quite simply, the B’nai Mitzvah Revolution is the outgrowth of an idea by Dr. Isa Aron, of Hebrew Union College’s Rhea Hirsch School of Education.  Dr. Aron was one of the founders of the Experiments in Congregational Education (ECE) project, which resulted in congregations all over the United States (and outside) re-imagining themselves as “congregations of learners” - self-reflective congregations and, more concretely, the adoption of family-based education throughout the Jewish world.  The ECE project is what paved the way for us to create our pioneering Family Track/Trimester model.  Last year, Dr. Aron gathered together some of her colleagues and proteges (including our own Director of Education, Michelle Shapiro Abraham) to imagine her next project - finding a way to de-couple synagogue membership from being solely about what the child of the family needs to do to celebrate Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  After a follow-up meeting with Michelle and I, Dr. Aron scheduled a session at the URJ’s Biennial last December.  Newly installed URJ President Rabbi Rick Jacobs heard, and the project was adopted by the URJ as part of its Campaign for Youth Engagement.

Ironically, the project is attempting to de-emphasize the importance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah training as the defining part of synagogue membership by focusing on the process of becoming bar/bat mitzvah.  I encourage you to take a look at the BMR website (http://www.bnaimitzvahrevolution.org/) to see some of what is going on.  Different congregations are changing, refocusing, or tinkering their education and BM training to engage families, to encourage deeper involvement, and/or to make the ceremony and the process more meaningful to the families involved.

Our congregation is preparing more of a “meta”-experiment.  A group consisting of representatives from our Board of Education, Religious Practices committee, clergy and education staff has been meeting to imagine what we might do.  Three of us - Cantor Sharlein, Lainie Sokolsky and myself, went to the BMR’s pilot cohort retreat in the beginning of November to advance our process and find out how the BMR project would help us.

You can find more details about our process and our future plans on the Temple website, but here is a summary:

1)  Our first task is to inform the congregation what we are doing - of which this column is a first attempt.  Lainie Sokolsky reported to the November Board meeting and we will be holding a public information session at 11:30am on Sunday, December 16th at our Union Catholic site.

2) Our second task is to come up with a list of values that defines what a “Temple Sholom Bar/Bat Mitzvah” should be.  This is an aspirational list - and we will be holding open meetings in January to solicit the input of the congregation as a whole, as well as creating some type of survey to include those unable to attend the meetings.  A small group will then sort through that data to create a list of core values, which will go to the Board of Trustees for ratification.

3)  Our next task is experimentation - and more details on how that will happen will be forthcoming in January 2013.  We will be soliciting a small group of volunteer families from the current 6th grade class (about to begin their BM journey in January 2013), who are willing to take the time to learn more about bar/bat mitzvah and find ways to make the process and its celebration more meaningful - within the Temple Sholom community.

Until then - there is no need to panic.  Anyone currently in our Bar/Bat Mitzvah “pipeline” will be able to learn and to celebrate this lifecycle ceremony in the way that they have expected.  At this point, we are only asking for a small number of volunteers to pilot their own experiments.  The Board made sure that: 1) Any experiments will fit into the values of what a Temple Sholom bar/bat mitzvah is and has been.  There will be a group whose job will be to work with families to make sure their proposals are in line with the values outlined above. 2) Experiments may push our boundaries and make some feel uncomfortable, but they will not set precedents.  We may allow something once and decide it did not work for our community.

Already in this process, we have learned a number of lessons that will help improve the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience - not only for the families involved, but for the whole congregation.  The question that we are using these experiences to answer is: Can we create a values based BM process which allows experimentation and still maintains a communal identity?

Finally, a personal note.  Thank you to the congregation for sharing with us the occasion of our daughter, Avital, becoming a Bat Mitzvah.  She was born in this congregation and we could think of no other community we would want to celebrate with.  Many members, who may not have been to many bar/bat mitzvah services recently, mentioned that there were things that were a part of Avital’s service that were special, probably because she was the rabbi’s daughter.  In truth, other than having another clergy member help lead the service, everything that Avital did to make leading the service a more meaningful experience - translating her Torah portion, working with the Cantor to choose certain melodies, inviting her (camp) friends up to lead the closing song - are all options that are available to any student or family in the congregation.  If all our participation in the BMR does is to bring that to the fore, than we will have accomplished something important and meaningful.

If you have any questions about the BMR, look to the pages on the Temple website, or feel free to speak to me, the Cantor, Lainie Sokolsky, Elissa Brown or Karen Schack (Board of Education, co-Presidents), Mark Nussenfeld (Religious Practices Chair).  If you are interested in being more involved in the process, just let our president, Sandra Nussenfeld know.

What is my goal in this process?  Last spring, at the Monday rehearsal for a Saturday service, I saw a student’s face break out in a huge grin as they held the Torah for the first time.  At that moment, it dawned on me.  That smile lasted all week, through the service, and the celebration afterward.  Each of our Temple Sholom b’nei mitzvah should have that experience.  The ritual with which they mark becoming a bar or bat mitzvah should be as enjoyable and as meaningful as the party that follows.  If we can get close to that goal, then we will more than be doing our part to carry a meaningful Judaism on to the next generation.